Notes (After thoughts)

 

I am so sure now, you are there in the same range of my understanding.

YOU ARE THERE. Maybe at the edge, maybe just fading again but you are. In that very circle of ambiguity, you too are taking rounds, you too are equally lost. Maybe you too are hopeless.

Now, let us see if the permanent separation will do wonder or just as it is this... whatever this is, will get dissolved within this cruel wicked potion of hesitation, doubt and hopelessness. 

Please drown me along with you in this liquid, hold my hands (they won't shake this time), and walk me into this sea of melancholy. We must drown.

We must rise only with the hurricane of hope; else maybe just lay there at the sea bed gazing at the passing bloom of jellyfish as we giggle with sea stars entangled within our hairs.

Even that suffice, even that suffice.

The Closure

 

No more can I let this misery surround me. I do not wish to be drowned in this all throughout. I had already predicted the end. Somewhere, I knew since the very beginning. This is suffocating me, I am choking on words. I cannot take this. I do not wish this to become toxic. Let this remain pure, very pure.

I am putting an end to this. My hands shiver and my heart is heavier whilst I write this down and commit: 

' I want to be over him, I am willing to be over him.'

Chalo khwaab pure karte hain, Ishq adhura hi achcha hai.

To you (if you somehow come across this):

You made life easier for me. You only enhanced it. Thank you for widening my thoughts and opening the portal to the things I never really thought about. I can only feel grateful for you. Though we never really communicated, I was well in conversation with your stars. It was pleasing to talk to them. Thank you.

Now, I will let your delusions go. 

The theory

 I am still in a daze.

The theory still persists, not seeing is equal to not feeling. It is the sight of him that adds fuel to my diminishing fire of desire for him. I may see him soon let us see if this really works.