Why? What changed over the separation? Did Jesus meet him there in person and told him about me? The more I try to not let my feelings win over me, the more he is stirring my heart and pulling its strings. What is he doing? Bare minimum, Existing.

There is only one theory to this: If I see that human, I can't help. 

Then there's another theory: I suppress it all and put on an act. It hurts, deep and violently. Sometimes he adds fuel to it by doing things.

I am going feral now. This is getting harder to grasp and I am just running away. The way I did not spare a single look today at him, even though I am sure he was staring from start to end of it all, I am seriously stubbornly insane. 

Why does this hurt? Because a look would not have hurt you.

Is he equally vulnerable to these insanities? We will find out, probably.